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Writer's pictureAnna

Evil Baboons in eastern SOUTH AFRICA

Updated: Oct 28, 2019

Full Disclosure: We didn't see any tigers, that's an Asian animal. Ya learn something new every day.


The latter half of our South African honeymoon, we spent in Kruger National Park on the Timbavati Nature Reserve.


It was paradise, and not in your conventional way.


Our camp, Simbavati Hilltop Lodge holds 8 tents on it, with 16 people max at a time. And when I say tent I mean the most luxurious hotel room covered by a canvas tent that you can think of. With air conditioning in the bedroom tent, we slept soundly each night. To get to the smaller bathroom tent, you walk through an open air shower that faces the lake, with no other humans in site. The bathroom tent had a beautiful bath tub with a view of the same lake, to relax in at night.




The lodge is actually not surrounded by fences at all. Meaning at night, you are required to walk the half mile to your tent with a guard. YUP. Elephants and lions have actually been on the path before, so our guard carried a stick (can someone arm them with maybe something a little more robust?!)

So, even though at night while we were lying in bed hearing lions roar incredibly loud, unsure of whether they were yards away from our tent (I swear), it really created an incredible atmosphere during the day. In between game drives, a random giraffe would come and eat off of the trees right in front of our daybed on our deck. Elephants would bathe in the lake in front of us, and line up one by one to cross. And an alligator and his hippo friend were submerged in the lake our entire stay, with only their eyes showing. Quite the odd duo if you ask me.



I'm Serious, These Baboons Were Evil

Even though the resort was without fences, I highly doubt the baboons would care either way. As we were walking to our tent for the first time, on the first day, the manager was explaining that there are baboons that stalk the camp. They are large and aggressive.

a baboon the size of my dog - not even the biggest one

She said we were required to lock our doors, and not because of any humans. Nope. These baboons wait until the guests leave for the day on the game drive, and come and try to open our tent doors to steal anything they can.


So, after that heartwarming talk, she left us to unpack our things. I decided to lay on the daybed and enjoy the incredible view for the first time. I heard a noise to the right, and thinking she may have come back to tell us something she forgot I looked over. One of these baboons, no, the biggest baboon I have ever seen, was standing on the railing about 20 feet from me. He was the size of a Border Collie, I kid you not. He was leaning forward in a way that made it seem like he was about to lunge at me, and surely tear me to shreds. John was in the bathroom, conveniently missing my life flash before my eyes.

I was frozen in terror and we had our eyes locked. The most intense stare off you've ever seen. I slowly slid off the left side of the bed trying to create some sort of barrier.

He then quickly ran on the railing back around the tent, out of my sight. Terrified he'd just come around the other side, I made my move and screamed for John to came out. We followed the big guy around the back of the house only to see him and probably 4 others (including adorably, evil babies) walking onto their next tent of the day. It happened to be vacant, and they proceeded to climb up to the deck. All of them. Had that been my deck, I would have passed out. Heck I almost did.



Our guard told us later that night that you should always have a stick with you because of baboons. Great information, really late delivery.


Back To The Good Stuff

Every morning, at 4:45am, we would wake and up to the lodge for tea and pastries. Eight of us would hop on one jeep, and the other eight would hop on the other. For about the first half hour, it was just traveling out to some far out areas.

We would see hoards of impala and springbok (types of antelope) every morning. Without fail, every time, our driver Jimmy would say "Im-paaaaaa-luh." That is how John and I still refer to them... cracks us up.


The first day was the only day we saw a pride of lions. Surprisingly, the females were the most menacing. The only male would follow the nine or so ladies a good distance behind and let them do all the work (you better charge him for dinner, ladies). The lions actually view our jeep as one big animal, so they don't even look at us, nor do they care about being super close to us.


"excuse me ma'am, could you please back up?"

So many animals!

If you've never heard of the Big 5, they were nicknamed by big-game hunters to describe the five most difficult animals to hunt on foot in Africa (lions, leopards, rhinos, elephant, and cape buffalo). If you get a chance to see all five on one safari trip, consider it a great trip.

We were so fortunate to see all of them, with the Cape Buffalo closing out the group on the final day (one charged at our jeep!). We saw so many more animals than that, including more zebras, giraffes, and birds than we could count.

Vincent, our wildlife "tracker"

The rarest animals we saw were wild dogs (who knew?!), a rogue ostrich, and adorable warthogs. Each morning we stopped for coffee near the end of the drive, and each night we stopped for "sun-downers", the the safari nickname for cocktails.


me and the mangy hyena

One evening, a hyena walked up to us as we were having our drinks next to the jeep. They travel solo mostly, so it was probably trying to steal some of our snacks, like the scavenger it is. It was a cross between creepy and cute. They told us that they have an equivalent bite force of a lion. No thanks. After I heard that tidbit, I slowly got back on the jeep, as it was within yards of us, just staring. Our guides ignored it like it was your everyday pigeon in the park. It eventually got bored and silently walked away.


Back at the hotel, we sipped drinks and mingled with the other 14 guests, many from the U.K., Switzerland, or Australia. Most were honeymooners, while others were on their anniversary trips. Then we were seated at separate tables for dinner and given a choice between several game dishes, such as impala and springbok, or vegetarian options. It was delicious. Then we would go back to our tent, with a guide of course, and fall asleep instantly. The next morning, the fun began again.


Thanks John, for all the stellar photos!

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